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| "Out of the clouds and into reality."
Just doing what I gotta do. I've done my fair share of dreaming and wishing and talking about my dreams...
Now it's time to make those dreams a reality...
-DiVa | | |
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"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God" (Luke 12:6, NIV).
William Cowper, poet and hymn writer, who lived from 1731-1800 in England, apparently suffered from fits of melancholy and frequent attacks of spiritual despair which led to two suicide attempts.
On one of these occasions during a time of deep despair and a dark night of the soul, on a foggy night he set out from his home in London with the intention of jumping into the Thames River to end his life.
He got hopelessly lost in the fog and wandered blind for some time. Eventually, lost and confused, he walked into a home to get out of the fog. And the home he walked into? It was his own.
He sat down and penned the words of the beloved hymn:
God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants his footsteps in the sea,
And rides upon the storm.
Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy, and shall break
In blessings on your head.
Dear reader, if you are going through a dark night of the soul right now and it feels that God is far away, be assured he is standing in the shadows and as he knows about every sparrow he knows all about you and he cares.
When we commit and trust our life to God every day, "Weeping may endure for the night, but joy will come in the morning"—even if it is eventually!
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, in my despair let me not grow weary in trusting you, but renew my faith and use my present pain to make me a better, stronger person so I can comfort others as they struggle through their journey of despair and pain. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
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| Things seems to really be looking up. When I first found out I couldn't be in worship team I was hurt and actually a little devestated. I am a singer, I sing because thats what I do. So when I was told I couldn't do something I love I wanted to protest. Funny thing is, as much as I wanted to speak my mind I just couldn't. Something inside of me just made me remain silent. A voice kept telling me "why don't you just trust God? He might want you to do something else for His glory." So I remained silent not saying anything at all. At times when I had to face that pain I had to pray because if I didn't I would have began saying things that weren't necessary and acting all out of place. This helped me a whole lot. I let God know how I felt and I asked Him to help me deal with whatever it was He was doing. About a few weeks later...the chior director asked me to rejoin the worship team...Glory to Jesus! Now when I work with the others I will be more ambitious to do better and remember that I'm not worthy to be there but it is a blessing from God. You ever just sit and wonder why God does the thing He does? That minor experience with Him showed me just how far a little faith and trust in the Almighty can go...amen!
I wanted my fellow believers to share in what I've just been reminded of. I guess alittle gas for your spiritual tank incase it was running low...
I'm going back to school this fall. By God's grace I didn't flunk out...I'm still going strong. It was a minor glitch on the road but God layed out a detour or rather a second chance...oppurtunity to do better this time around. I scheduled my classes for the upcoming fall semester...wooo...I'm really excited but also nervous. I don't want history to repeat itself...I'm doing good...more focused...more confident than the year before. Plus I found myself seeking God's will again...this time I want to continue without stopping...
The past few weeks, even if spiritually I was low it was like God was speaking through so many things and so many people...but it was through one conversation with someone that I was able to see myself like a girl looking into a mirror and seeing herself for the first time. I was speechless...it was like everything I was becoming exactly what I did not want to become...everything I had worked and trained myself to be was literally being demolished into an ugly image of a broken spirit...I realized I didn't want to be that girl...I cannot be that girl...I have to be a fighter...I got to be right with God...I got to be stronger than that...Thats what all I have gone through was for...So that I could be a fighter. God allowed me to experience trials so that in the end when I am faced with BIGGER challenges I will overcome with Him beside me...I understand now.
We learned on sunday that those who tend to take risks for God are the ones who will be more blessed. Sunday services these days are crazy GOOD! Even when I'm upstairs working with the kids my spirit is blessed...glory to God! "Keep it coming Lord...I have a feeling I'm going to need it this summer and fall." I ain't saying I'm perfect or that things are going to be perfect...just letting yal know that I got a wake up call. I thought that because of my spiritual state God stopped talking to me but it turns out He was whispering, sometimes shouting through songs, messages, conversations, experiences, signs on the street (there everywhere: 6+6+06 the signs are all around you) I 'm sure you've seen that billboard everywhere. Be blessed ladies and gentlemen...shoot I sure am!
JAZzie
Another Black Statistic
I refuse to be another black statistic
A black man who can wine and dine in the sin of the world and still be considered a christian
I plan on being great
I care not to be less
I refuse to wear a barcode across my chest
I refuse to let a black tee or throwback jersey define me
I refuse to let my children witness divorce
Or make mature decisions in court
I refuse to grow up carrying the generational curse
I refuse to feel the need to curse in my verse
I hate being automatically looked at when someone asks can anyone rap
I wanna be a black man that can flip it from urban to corporate measures
A black man who doesn't gain knowledge from the world for his own pleasures
A black man who reps christ to the fullest with no regrets
My only regret is the stigma that many black statistics in the past have set
Like going to jail, bragging about bail, leaving our kids, cussing at church,
married and you still flirt, no father present at birth
Animosity within the ministers of our church
I refuse to let my people be viewed as temporary
I plan on planting a seed not for the moment but for one thats legendary
As for statistics
My father broke the mode
And i feel its my job for the next generation to continue in it
Because i refuse to be another black statistic
-by Kirk Franklin's son
"HERO"
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| I got a myspace page now...if there is anyone that still use xanga...chec it out at
www.myspace.com/gospeldiva1
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| - okay I'll admit it...i like this album... Thats one way to describe life right now. I feel like everything is alittle different. Yesturday was amazing. Sunday morning service was a blessing. It started off in sunday school...I'm really beginning to enjoy it because it seems like God always has a message for me there. I usually go upstairs right after, and I would usually complain about how the kids can be extremely difficult to deal with and I'd long to stay downstairs in the service to worship. Somehow God stepped in the situation this Sunday by calming my nerves and blessing my spirit even if I didn't stay downstairs. The kids were particularly well behaved especial during thier worship service and they paid close attention to the Bible lesson we did with them. Offer a child candy and they'll become angels...just like that...lol!
After service, somehow my mom got me and my sisters in the kitchen making dinner. I'm not usually home after service (because I'll find any excuse to be outside) but it was good. We laughed and joked around in the kitchen fighting for the easiest jobs. We made white rice, calelujah (okra), and steak...which has to be one of the best cooked meals of all haitian food. Only God can do that...as a teenager I find it less enjoyable to chill with my family...ask me why...cause I'm a teenager!
In the mean time, I'm hoping to do more with music in chior...in school...wherever...I use to be crazy about music when I was younger but now that I'm older I seemed to have been bored with it...dry almost...but lately, since I bought some hot CDs I got that craze again and it's good...It's like a breath of fresh air...
JAZzie
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False
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